priORities

It's a weird word, to look at it. What are priorities, anyway? It just doesn't even look like a word we recognize in our language after a while of staring at it. The word is the same, but when our vision is too focused, it looks distorted. Well, today during a particularly careless rant of mine, a rant that hit an innocent audience of two sweet friends, I heard myself say the very things I hoped I would never say or even feel. It's no secret that I, well, I don't always hold back when I should. But hearing myself today made me cringe. It made me see that something I've held in top priority for several months now has given me a sour attitude toward anything that threatens it, even opportunities for service.

My quest for physical fitness has been examined for merit so hard, for all the good things it does for our health both mentally and physically and even emotionally, that it has warped my view of its importance. And I let it, so easily. It has seemed to fall under the category of Too Much of a Good Thing, as it consumes a good bit of each morning. Having had a few hours to mull over my ugly new trait and what it's guiding me toward, there's a seed of desire in my heart to find a way to change. As my fourth grade P.E. teacher liked to say, I need an attitude adjustment. Today I was blessed to catch a glimpse of where I'm headed: this train leads to selfishness. This train is bound to leave me with a fit body and not such a pretty inside to match.

Exercise can make my muscles bigger. In fact, that big muscle inside my chest is more fit than ever to run, jump and LIVE--but it will take a very different workout to grow in LOVE.